Silence Heard So Clear...

Isn't fire amazing? Now I'm by no means what you would call a pyro maniac. All I am saying is that fire has so many diverse abilities, and has made many a cameo in my life, all with very different personalities. Back in 1994 is appeared destructive and life changing when it burned down our home and almost everything inside. In college it was seen as cleansing when it was used as a symbol of God's mercy and grace as it burned a paper with all the transgressions I could remember at the time written on it. The strange thing is the even though fire has appeared as many different characters in my life there has always one trait that rolls constant, and that is an ability to calm. I know that sounds somewhat strange for someone who at one time lost everything they ever knew to a fire, but it is true. I find the random movement, the inadvertent crackling to incredibly calming and peaceful.

I bring all of this up because my wife Kristal and I were given an amazing gift this Christmas from two of the greatest people I will ever have the privilege of knowing. They gave us a fire pit. I can not tell you how excited and blessed I felt...feel to have been on the receiving end of that gift and I finally got to put it to use.

Most people when I tell them that I work in ministry full time they give me a look or even a sigh that says "Oh, to be you." as if I somehow have it easy and live a blissful, conflict free existence filled with butterflies and prancing deer. Now get me wrong, although I have not seen deer prancing down my office hallway, I love my job. I believe my job is my calling, but working in ministry is one of the most stressful jobs I have ever been blessed to have.

I won't get into it but I spent most of the day trying to figure out and think through how God would have me lead the people that He has put in my charge. For me this is a very hard thing for me to leave at the office, although I am getting better at it. (Please see The Sawyer Saga
for my motivation.) So I started a fire in my new fire pit. As the fire grew I sat in one our plastic lawn chairs and just watched as each flame ate away at the small pieces of the wood strategically placed in harms way. A sense of peace came over me. There was a sense as if everything was right in the world. I was finally able to take the time to sit down and listen. Sometimes I forget that you can't listen with your mouth open, and sometimes your brain, or even your heart, is just as loud as your mouth.